6 Weeks of Separation
16 July 2006 6:22 pm
It's exactly six weeks since K left for Seoul.
It feels like I'm living the single life again. I go home to an empty house, I cook only for myself, I watch television and read for entertainment, and if I meet people at all they are my colleagues.
I don't really like it.
I miss my husband's company. He looks shy and reserved, but he's not when he's with me. We talk a lot when we're together. He's funny and silly, and he's a walking BBC/CNN/NYTimes. If I wanted to know what is happening in the world today, I only have to ask him. He keeps me wired to the rest of the world. It's not that I'm proud to be ignorant. I just find the news depressing most of the time, and I also find it pointless to get worked up over things that are not within my power to change or to stop from happening. People suck. People kill people. The innocent always suffer. Same old story. K alone can make me interested in the news. When he tells me about it, I turn on the TV and watch the news to find out for myself.
I thought about getting a cat for company. Pet shop cats are so expensive, $1800 for a ragdoll, $480 for a Persian, $1200 for an American tabby. Maybe I should adopt one from the Cat Welfare Society. But cost is not the main factor. It's being responsible for an animal that scares me. I'm used to taking care of me and myself. It's been years since I looked after a cat. I don't know if I'm ready to do that. And while we're on the subject of looking after another living thing besides yourself, I'm wondering when I will be ready for motherhood. The idea is attractive, but the execution seems daunting. I think we should wait before we have a pet or a child.
So K and I decided to meet in Bangkok this coming weekend for a second honeymoon of sorts. I think it'll be good for us. We've always told each other that when the going gets tough, having each other keeps us strong so we can get going.