Girl Power
23 December 2005 11:18 am
Nu got posted to St Margaret's Secondary School. It was her first choice, so naturally she is very happy about getting a place there. So are we, actually. It completes what has become a family tradition now, for the girls in the family to attend all-girls schools.
I've seen both sides now. I attended an all-girls school and am teaching in a co-ed school. It is obvious to me that girls will do better in an all-girls school. My students, of course, beg to differ. They have many biases against those from single-sex schools. The kids there are so deprived, they say. They must all be gay, because they only see their own kind every day. No wonder they do well in school, they have nothing interesting to look at they might as well study. It is telling that they keep harping on the same point, that students from single-sex schools are a sad lot because they lack contact with the opposite sex. It shows how much my students value being liked and desired in their social circles. Academic performance is secondary.
I, however, am a firm believer in education as the great leveller.
My whole family has to believe in that, because we were not born into wealth. We can't afford to screw up in school because we don't have second or third chances. Our rich friends can find schools in Australia, the UK or the US if they don't do well under the education system here, but we can't. We have to do well here, and go as far as we can so we have a fighting chance of getting good jobs at the end of the day and being ultimately financially independent.
I think Nu is a pretty girl, but she has to know that she is more than a pretty face. The next four years should be about personal growth. She must discover her talents and stretch her potential. She must also learn to be comfortable in her own skin. She can do without the presence of boys as a source of distraction. In school, at least. Contrary to my students' beliefs, people from single-sex schools do meet and date those of the opposite sex. If your school life and social life are rich enough, you'll have many opportunities to meet people from other schools. It is school, after all, not prison. Not having boy friends or THE boyfriend in the same school or class is a good thing, especially because you're spared the gender politics. In the school I teach, I have seen or heard of student couples quarrelling because the girl did better in a test. How ridiculous is that? Being smart is not seen as cool, especially if you're a female. Boys don't like girls who are too smart, so the girls concentrate on looking good, and not on doing well academically. Not all girls, but a good number of them, which is tragic enough.
There are no social limits to how well you should do if you're in a single-sex school. There is no sense of what is a boy's subject or a girl's subject, either. You discover that whether you are good at one subject or not is a matter of personal interest, inclination and hard work. Best of all, you get to be just a girl, with all the attendant girl problems. You don't have to compete for the attention of boys, or prove you are a woman to them. Even if you eventually date and have a boyfriend, he is out of sight until the last bell, or until the weekend. Sure, he may not be out of mind, and your thoughts may drift to him even as you're staring blankly at the whiteboard, but it's many, many times less distracting than having him sit right next to you or behind you or within a hundred meter radius of you.
So I say hurray to my little sister for clinching a place in a girls' school. I'm not saying it's all good. Girls can be evil bitches. But she has two big sisters who's survived the girls' school experience. We have lots of tips.
Older entries
Ramadan - 08 October 2006
Where I Have Been - 03 October 2006
Baby Talk - 10 August 2006
6 Weeks of Separation - 16 July 2006
Unacceptable Rudeness - 21 June 2006