My Fantasy Compilation Album Series Part 1
Thursday, Feb. 12, 2004 10:57 a.m.
Here's my life in a mock album review.
Album : 29 in February
Artist: Various
Review
2004 is a leap year, giving us a February 29, our first for the millennium. But as far as the producer of this album is concerned, February 2004 is significant for another event: she will turn 29.
"It's the last frontier of the 20s!" she exclaims in mock horror. In truth, there is a certain calmness about her that belies the turbulence of the decade in question. "I've been thinking a lot about that time," she trails off, suddenly wistful, "You know all the things you dream about as a girl, in your teens? You always assume they'll happen during your 20s. You'll land that dream job, find the perfect man, get that dream house, raise angelic kids [rolls eyes]. I was never an idealist but I had some of those dreams. And then life happens [chuckles], and boy, do you feel stupid."
The most significant event of the 20s for her was her six-year relationship with an abusive monster. "I have never been so close to killing myself before," she says candidly. "It was hell. I couldn't get out. He wouldn't let me. He would beg and threaten and beg again and harass me after every violent fight, and I always caved in eventually. It was always easier to take him back in and accept his sorry's than to try to get him off my back. And also there was love too. And hope. You always hope the next time round he would really change. Hah."
That experience, not surprisingly, changed her perspective on life and love, which is what 29 in February is about. All the songs in the selection reflect attitudes towards love and relationships. The order is also significant. "There is a chronology," she explains, "It begins when I was 12. I thought 'Saving All My Love for You' was the most romantic song in the world, even though I didn't really understand what the whole song was about. I needed a song to represent my naivety and inexperience. Then we jump straight to the year I was 16/17. Janet explored her sexuality in her Janet album, and my own sexual awakening began. As for 'End of the Road', it's one of those "our" songs. It was mine and my very first boyfriend's, sappy kids that we were, but it really reflected the nature of our relationship. Then came the 20s, and that's all I'm going to say about it."
When pressed for more she concedes this much, " You know how some songs make you recall a very specific time and place, and every time you hear it you remember a particular person, what you were doing with them, where, what you were wearing? They're signifiers, in other words. And only I know what, or who, the signified are."
The point of the album? To celebrate life and love. "I believe in love, and I know I can't live without it," she admits. "I listen to these songs and they take me through the roads I've travelled, and by the end of the list I feel glad that I took those paths. I've always come out stronger and wiser and braver about facing the world. Love rocks."
Looking at the songs in 29 in February in the context of the producer's life, one is tempted to fill in the missing pieces. How do you move from Tori Amos's poignant "Putting the Damage On" to Lauryn Hill's assertive, affirmative "I Used to Love Him"? What happened in between? Consider also the singers featured. There's a strong R&B flavour to the album, and a dash of alternative (Clearly, she is a fan of the late Aaliyah, Hill and Amos, for they each contribute two songs to the list). But what of the track from the now-defunct Take That? She is not telling. She chooses to select songs the way her idol, Amos, writes her songs. Make them akin to confessionals in Aramaic.
Track Listing
1. Saving All My Love for You - Whitney Houston
2. That's the Way Love Goes - Janet Jackson
3. End of the Road - Boys 2 Men
4. Because You Love Me - Celine Dion
5. Back for Good - Take That
6. Putting the Damage On - Tori Amos
7. Falling Into You - Celine Dion
8. Say My Name - Destiny's Child
9. Never No More - Aaliyah
10. I Used to Love Him - Lauryn Hill
11. Goodbye - Alicia Keys
12. Sour Times - Portishead
13. 1000 Oceans - Tori Amos
14. Nothing Even Matters - Lauryn Hill
15. Rock the Boat - Aaliyah
Older entries
Ramadan - 08 October 2006
Where I Have Been - 03 October 2006
Baby Talk - 10 August 2006
6 Weeks of Separation - 16 July 2006
Unacceptable Rudeness - 21 June 2006