God give me strength
30 November 2004 8:31 pm
My horoscope reading for today:
Quickie:You'll think more clearly if you organize your feelings. What's really bugging you?
Overview:Forget about getting your list of to-dos completely done -- especially if it's work-oriented. You'll be stopped, stalled and delayed. Just don't get mad. It won't help, and it might hurt.
Daily Extended Forecast for November 30, 2004
Half of life is just showing up, so don't sit this one out. The events that are about to take place are too important for you to miss. Find a way to deal with whatever is bothering you and move on. Try not to let your emotions rule the rest of your body. You have enough inner strength to get through these circumstances, but you may not know it yet. Do whatever it takes to summon the courage you need to get past this so you can claim your next victory.
Spot on, I tell you. I will elaborate later. Have patience. Out of curiosity, I clicked on tomorrow's forecast:
Daily Extended Forecast for December 01, 2004You really can't put off a home repair much longer. You may as well dig out the tools and tackle it today, whether it's a dripping faucet, a loose floorboard, a running toilet or some other minor annoyance. Sure, you'd much rather spend the afternoon lazing around or taking a drive, but look on this exercise as a challenge to your tendency for procrastination. Be truthful with yourself: Have you been challenging yourself enough lately?
I shuddered when I first read it.
I've been in a foul mood lately because of the new apartment. It's been painted and cleaned, the old linoleum has been replaced with a new, classier (if linoleum can ever be called that) wood-print design, the bathroom floor has been covered with plastic mats (picture is just an example, not the kind I actually used) in grey and black checks so no one has to step on the icky old tiles below, and two important appliances, which I have not until now owned, a washing machine and a refrigerator, now sit nice and pretty in the kitchen, where they belong. If not for the fact that I'm on vacation and that the staff room in school is undergoing renovation and therefore the staff room scanner has been stored away, I would have posted pictures of the apartment taken before and after these changes were made, just so you can see how gorgeous the place looks now, compared to before. You will congratulate me on my home improvement skills. You will proclaim me a genius. You may even offer me your life savings as capital so I can start my own renovation company.
Okay, so maybe that last bit was pushing it a bit. But you get the point.
Yet, my friends, all is not as well as expected. The linoleum sheets were not properly aligned in places, as they should be so that the wood pattern is regular and continuous. You won't notice it unless you're looking for faults, but faults there are. The paint job on one of the windows left aluminium - spelled with an "i" after "n" for users of British English like moi, I'm just saying - paint drops on the sill outside, which cannot be removed with regular turpentine for some reason. Worst of all, the pipe for the new sink is leaking like a bastard with his throat slashed, pardon the vivid imagery. Some of that water seeped under the linoleum in the kitchen, causing it to have that smell of something dead that lasted a couple of days. All these fuck-ups were reported to me on a daily basis, ad nauseam, via the phone, by my aunt and uncle, who are staying there on their two-week visit, while I listen despairingly on the other line, holed up in my soon-to-be-surrendered comfy, spacious apartment.
So I "can't put off a home repair much longer", according to my horoscope. Look, who the fuck likes to live with a dripping faucet or a leaking pipe? I have done something about it. I have called the cretin contractor about the pipe. I could have called a different one, but this idiot did the job, so he should fix it. He promised to come last Sunday, but he bailed out on me. He's sworn to turn up tomorrow. If he doesn't, I will beat the crap out of him. Or post his picture and particulars on the Internet, since he gave me a photocopy of his ID as a sign of trustworthiness. Do not doubt how nasty I can get with people who try to screw me over. Meanwhile, the water supply to the leaky sink has been turned off so that it wouldn't continue dripping. See? I've taken measures. It takes time for things to be corrected. THAT IS NOT MY FAULT. As for the imperfect linoleum fitting, I CAN LIVE WITH IT. This is a $600-a-month apartment, dirt cheap considering the location. Usually I would have to settle for something that costs $750, near but not in the neighbourhood. Last year, when I was hunting for apartments, I even viewed an equally shitty-looking apartment in the area which the landlord wanted to charge me $900 for. What I have got now, as shitty as it may seem to others, is a BARGAIN. I did not expect perfection and I am HAPPY that I found it.
I don't blame my aunt and uncle for complaining about the sink, and for pointing out the flaws in the apartment. I MIND that I have to listen to these complaints on a DAILY basis, and hear lengthy explanations as to why I have to get repairs done. I KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. I'm already on it. If you don't like my place, which I offered readily, GET A HOTEL. I'm sorry I offered you something that is not up to your standard. I thought you would appreciate saving on hotel acommodation. Don't take up my offer and then bitch and moan. It's rude.
I feel like I'm being judged. The way my uncle keeps nagging about my place, the subtext seems to be: "You made a mistake choosing this apartment. You could have gotten a better deal. You made a mistake choosing that dumb prick contractor. You could have gotten a better one." How the fuck would he know? He lives in fucking Germany, for God's sake. He has no clue how hard it is to find a good apartment to rent here, at a price that I on my teacher's salary can afford. As for the home improvement job, I've already done all I'm willing to do for a place that I'm only RENTING. Why the fuck should I renovate the landlord's apartment so that it looks like something out of Architectural Digest? It's not as if he's going to reimburse me for my pains. The guy runs a renovation company himself. If he wanted the apartment to look pretty, he'd've done it by now. Obviously he bought the apartment as an investment. He just wants to earn rent off of it from people like me.
My uncle isn't interested in LISTENING to me. He just wants to go on and on proving to me how right he is and how stupid I am. I could have said all the things I'm saying here to his face, but instead I opted for monosyllabic or short-phrase responses like "uh-huh", "yup" and "I know". It's such an Asian thing, some people might say, to grit one's teeth and hold everything inside and then lash out privately (well, not so privately, in this case). To me it's more than that. I want to choose my own battles and this one I've decided to forgo. They're going to be here for just 2 weeks, and then they're gone. If I attempt to explain to my uncle (IF he gives me the chance, in the first place), I would have to listen to his rebuttals, and then I would have to address the issues he throws up, and 2 hours would have passed before we come to an understanding, and that's to be optimistic about it. Some people may think that it's worth it. I don't. 2 hours of getting pissed off is 2 hours of my life that I've lost forever, 2 hours I could have spent at home reading Edith Templeton's Gordon. As my horoscope says, "Try not to let your emotions rule the rest of your body. You have enough inner strength to get through these circumstances, but you may not know it yet. Do whatever it takes to summon the courage you need to get past this so you can claim your next victory." 2 weeks. I can do 2 weeks. I choose Gordon over a nasty argument with my uncle.
Anyway, what are blogs for if not for me to rant till I'm spent?
Older entries
Ramadan - 08 October 2006
Where I Have Been - 03 October 2006
Baby Talk - 10 August 2006
6 Weeks of Separation - 16 July 2006
Unacceptable Rudeness - 21 June 2006