School

Thursday, Apr. 29, 2004 6:32 p.m.

What school really teaches you:

  1. You are only as good as your academic grades. Get the A's and your future is bright, flunk your exams and you're a loser.

  2. If you're exceptional in sports, or even if you're a water boy for a high-profile sports team in your school, you can get some respect from your peers, sometimes even teachers.

  3. If you're not good in your studies and you suck at sports, you can still be popular if you're good-looking. You can also be a bitch; guys will let you because they all want to jump into bed with you.

What you should learn from school:

  1. That it's okay if school sucks. It sucks for a lot of people. Most of the time, you're never smart enough, athletic enough or good-looking enough for your peers or teachers/coaches.

  2. That school is a kind of rehearsal for life, it's where you get to make mistakes and learn from them without dire consequences. (Unless you burn the school down). If you think school sucks, life sucks even more. At least in school you get 3 chances before you're suspended. In life sometimes you only have one chance and if you screw up, you're screwed for life.

  3. That however bad school life is, it will eventually pass. You will graduate and move on. If you persevere and don't give up on yourself, you will make it out, and who knows, you'll be the stronger for having put up with all the crap all those years.

What school doesn't reward you for, but which you have within you and should treasure:

  1. Your courage in facing the bullies in school. Whether you stand up to them or put up with their abuse, it takes a lot of courage and inner strength to do it. You should be proud of yourself, every day that you go to school, bracing yourself for that inevitable confrontation.

  2. Your ability to juggle your school work, extra-curricular activities, and responsibilities as a child and/or sibling. That's early training in multi-tasking!

  3. Your ability to handle unhappy events that you didn't cause to transpire but that will affect you in a life-changing way, e.g. your parents' divorce/ death. Your strength of character may not be reflected in your report book, but it is the most important 'A' grade that you're going to get, because it strengthens you for the tougher times ahead.

I'm writing all this because I'm recalling my school days. (Lately I've been pondering the meaning of education and whether it ultimately prepares you for life in some fundamental way. The answer to that would of course determine whether the teaching profession is an important one, or whether somewhere down the line the education system has lost the plot.) I think when it comes to giving the young basic knowledge of important subjects, schools do a decent job. (Results vary, of course, depending on which school you go to. That's inevitable.)

The rest of things that you learn, the really important things, you learn from Life.

I went to what they call an elite school because it admits only the top 10% of the country. I never, ever felt smart there. Everyone else seemed smarter than me. You lose your sense of perspective in a place like that. Surrounded by so many people with the same or better grades than you, how could you feel special or important? So yeah, I went to a good school, but if I did well in my subjects and extra-curricular activities, I couldn't say the same for my self-esteem. I had none. I was the quiet girl in class who only spoke when spoken to. I avoided contact with teachers, tried to hide my family crap from them as much as I could. I thought I was ugly.

When I finally realised that the most important part about my time there was that I survived it, I was 21. Honestly. That was when I was wondering how I managed to put up with an asshole who was slapping me around, and it occurred to me that it all began with the little bad things that happened earlier in life. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

So now I think at the end of the day it doesn't really matter what you are when you graduate from school, a jock, a nerd, a loser, a low-life, a nobody, a princess or a brainiac. If you make it through and you have the will to go on living, you will all survive. Besides, good grades doesn't make you immune to pain and suffering.

So kids, get all that you can out of school. And good luck with the rest of your life.

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