It's the message that counts
Friday, Feb. 20, 2004 11:56 a.m.
This is how naive I was when I was thirteen.
My secondary school principal decided to retire that year and my form teacher told someone in my class to get a 'Happy Retirement' card. I got annoyed at the teacher because I thought it was an unreasonable thing to ask someone to do. Reason: where could you find greeting cards about retirement?
That was how stupid I was. I thought all Hallmark (or its closest competitor here, Memory Lane) ever produced were birthday cards, and maybe wedding cards. I'd never seen a retirement card in thirteen years of existence. Needless to say, when my classmate came to school the next day bearing a card that had the word "Retirement' on it, I was impressed. I thought, shit, Hallmark's fucking cool to have thought of that. [chuckles]
I went through a phase in my late teens where I only made my own cards, and pooh-poohed the efforts of Hallmark et al. I was pretty good at it too. If you were a recipient of any of my handmade cards in the past and you don't care for them anymore, could you please send the cards over to me? I'd like to see the products of my adolescent creativity again and preserve them for posterity this time. Cos obviously I've stopped doing these things. Back then I was always experimenting with different designs and textures and materials, I've used glitter glue and metallic-ink pens and aluminium foil and candy wrappers and seashells and toothpicks and cloth and dried leaves, just about anything that was cheap but had "potential", in my eyes. I'm sure I made a few ugly tacky ones, but I did remember making some pretty ones. Usually for people I really liked. And I never had to worry about the message (though I CAN write good ones), because most people like my handwriting, they always tell me it's artistic or stylish or sophisticated or something flattering like that, even though I think it's too cursive and I always had a hard time scribbling lecture notes verbatim in college. Anyway I could write a lame message like "Happy Birthday and Many Happy Returns" and it'd still look good on the card:
I don't know, what do you think? I'm just feeling a little nostalgic now, remembering a more innocent time when you always remembered people's birthdays and always made time to make cards for people.
Which brings me back to Hallmark. Now that I don't make my own cards anymore, I browse the greeting card section more regularly (that is to say, 2 out of 5 times that I'm at a bookstore), and even when no occasion calls for it. I'm always impressed by the new ideas, new designs and new messages out there, and I think, if we can no longer add a personal touch to the greeting cards that we send by making them ourselves, we should at least learn the art of choosing the right card for the occasion and the person in mind.
I saw this card three days ago. Had a picture of two women in old-fashioned bathing suits looking quite alike, holding hands knee-deep in sea water. The message inside said, "We're good friends, because amazingly you're one of the very few who are not intimidated by my beauty." I thought it was hilarious. And I would have bought it too if I had a person in mind. But I didn't. I mean you can't give it to someone who won't see the humor or irony or the cheeky presumption in it. But that's an example of a just-for-fun card. When you look for birthday cards, there are so many out there, you can't just pick any card that has a semi-decent cover and a one-size-fits-all message. You have to pick one that captures your feelings for the recipient, with the right images and words. Like me, I have nothing against flowers, but on cards they're just not me. But someone who gives me a card with flowers and a sweet message probably thinks I'm sweet or something, and that in itself is sweet. And I've received cards that I would have found too sappy ordinarily, but were so apt for the occasion that I was literally moved by the messages in the cards, nevermind the additional lines that the senders wrote.
I understand sometimes you get a particular card just because it's the most decent card in the store and the person couldn't be arsed to look for another store with better cards. But I'm saying we should all put more effort into choosing cards. It's the least we can do for the intended recipients, so that what the card says means something and lifts their spirits in ways our own words might never be able to do.
By the way, I had a fabulous birthday. Many thanks to everyone who remembered and made me smile and/or laugh yesterday!
Older entries
Ramadan - 08 October 2006
Where I Have Been - 03 October 2006
Baby Talk - 10 August 2006
6 Weeks of Separation - 16 July 2006
Unacceptable Rudeness - 21 June 2006